The Revolver Report

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Michael Dudikoff - The Greatest Action Hero/Action Movie Star you never heard of

The few familiar with buff skull crushed Michael Dudikoff would be shocked to hear that he got his big break as a model. The Redondo, CA, native was born to a Russian father in early October of 1954. He his first role in 1978 on the super popular series Dallas.
In 1980 the rising star made his feature debut in The Black Marble. Small roles in Tron (1982) and Uncommon Valor (1983) found his action chops developing nicely, and after having a wild time in Bachelor Party (1984), Dudikoff had his breakthrough role in the 1985 martial arts action film American Ninja. Though the part was originally intended for Chuck Norris, Dudikoff made the role his own, to the delight of action fans worldwide.

Though the requisite sequels came fast and furious, it was roles in such small-scale actionrs as Platoon Leader (1988, directed by Chuck Norris’ brother Aaron) and Midnight Ride (1990) that kept his name alive in the lucrative low-budget action market. Though Dudikoff’s 1993 series Cobra would only hold out for one season, his average of two films per year would have him doling out the punches well into the millennium. The late 90’s found Dudikoff teaming with B-movie maestro Fred Olen Ray for a series of small-scale punishers, and in 2002, Dudikoff appeared opposite Treat Williams in Jim Wynorski’s Gale Force.
Dudikoff now lives with his wife and daughter Nancy in Malibu, CA. and loves to play tennis and go swimming with his golden retriever Shooter.
Great he became a pussy! But better then becoming a Governor.

Check out Michael Dudikoff in American Ninja!

The American Ninja DVD is available from

A Revolver Report Exclusive

Saturday, June 24, 2006

6 Sex Secrets To Keep Your Girl Wanting More

It doesn’t take an expert to know how to thrust and pump your way into five minutes of euphoria. Shoot, your dog does it on call without a problem. However fellas, there comes a time when you all should know that there is a big difference between sparks and explosions when it comes to a woman’s orgasm. The bottom line is, we all damn well deserve to be sexually satisfied in our relationships and though “wam bam thank you mam” might be great for you, sometimes that’s just not enough for us ladies. Please don’t let sex with your chicas become just another bland routine. Consider the following six sex secrets your personal guide to ensuring that her kitten keeps on purring. Trust me, after reading this you’ll have her working for all your "milk".


Okay, I know that some women are very adamant about making masturbation seem taboo in front of men, but the truth is, 99% of us are having a ball (or two) with ourselves on that lonely Sunday evening while you’re out watching football with the guys. While some of us still prefer to hand wash, vibrators have quickly worked their way into becoming a girl’s second best friend. Please don’t get jealous or feel like this is a blow to your ego, just remember that this is a toy and nothing beats the intimacy only you can give her. Let’s view this as another way of exploring alternative routes to her orgasm. Think about how her little buzz buddy will especially come into handy if you’re car runs out of gas and she’s still expecting you to drive her down Avenue O. Vibrators can introduce her to new levels of pleasure you both never knew existed. Not to mention it will leave her tingling long after the battery dies. However, you never know if your sweetie might be included in the one percentile of women who have not yet discovered the power of masturbation. If you’re not sure how she would feel about bringing “someone” else into bed, be sure to talk it over with her way before doing the deed. Vibrators come in all shapes and sizes and will run you anywhere from $15 to $100. Think of it as…the higher the price, the stronger her orgasm!

One of the many misconceptions men have is that women always want safe, clean love-making. Sex doesn’t always have to be “perfect” for us; it is sometimes better when it’s just sloppy and fun. Hot fudge and whipped cream are all things that I’m sure make your mouth water already, but hold your chin up playboy, because you’ll be drooling when you make her your sundae. Save dessert for bed and take turns licking and eating sweets off each others bodies one at a time. The different flavors and sensations will leave you both yearning for seconds and she won’t be able to keep her hands off your Willy Wonka. Something else you might want to try is edible body paint. This brings a creative dimension to sex, not to mention an easy clean up. With flavors ranging from pina colada to strawberry, you’ll wonder what took you so long to find your inner artist. Just make sure the label makes a reference to being safe for sensitive skin or else you might get more of a reaction then expected.

Keep reading at

Slash Knocks Down G 'N R Reunion Rumors

According to
Speculation has been rumbling around the net and elsewhere that Slash would join his former bandmate Axl Rose for all or part of the "new" Guns 'N Roses' show in New York City last month. Slash says not only was there no chance of him playing with Axl then or anytime soon, but he doesn't even expect a call from the corn-rowed Rose. Says Slash:

"I know he would never call me. I've actually sent him Christmas cards, just to be cordial, but he never returns anything."

No return Christmas card? What a grinch. I'm sure he got that lawsuit Slash (and Duff McKagan) sent his way, as Axl did return the favor with a filing of his own.

Besides actually playing a couple gigs, albeit late as usual for at least one, and getting into a "fight" with designer Tommy Hilfiger, Axl hasn't done much to gain headlines for his music lately. But, apparently, Rose is still a enough of a rock star to be seen outside Kabaret's Prophecy in London wearing a very shiny suit and hanging with a long-legged mystery blonde the other night.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Aerosmith, Crue turn back time for joint tour

NEW YORK (Billboard) - Enduring rock acts Aerosmith and Motley Crue are hitting the road together for the first time with a joint U.S. fall tour set to open September 14 in Holmdel, New Jersey.

The "Route of All Evil" tour will run for more than two months before wrapping November 24 in West Palm Beach, Florida. Pre-sales are underway for some shows via Aerosmith's Aero Force One fan club.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Jimi Hendrix - Hear Ma Train a Coming

Jimi Hendrix - Hear Ma Train a Coming

Is your girl a Gold Digger? Here are 5 Ways to Tell...

1. Every time the check comes she has to “freshen up.” Maybe on one date it can be coincidental, but not 8 in a row. At least reach for your purse, woman...Damn.

Here’s a good way to turn the tables and test this “freshen up” nonsense out. Turn the tables and go freshen up yourself. Tell her you have to go to the bathroom when you’ve finished dinner, the plates are cleared, and it is pretty much obvious that the bill is the next thing coming. Go into the stall and count to 69. If you come back and the check is still there, find someone else to date.

2. She still calls her father “Daddy.” The word “Daddy,” is not ok coming from a girl who is twenty-three. A girl atwenty-three saying “Daddy” denotes a well-to do father who gives his spoiled brat everything her little heart desires, and never says no. You will also never say no, or face the wrath of a vicious blow to the groin. I don’t care how hot the girl you are dating is, stop calling her. You will avoid much misery, torture, and black-balling from your friends. So keep your dignity and just say NO to “Daddy’s little princess.”

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Buzz Aldrin punches a guy who accuses him of never going to the moon.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

VELVET REVOLVER Drummer: 10 Songs Ready For New CD

"Have been hard at work on the new VELVET REVOLVER stuff. We have been working five days a week for the last month. And have about 10 songs worked up. Going to work in my studio for another couple of weeks. Then start rehearsing for our mini-tour of the West Coast. Then back in the studio to complete the album."

VELVET REVOLVER recently recorded a new song for the upcoming animated feature, "Monster House". The band's 2004 debut, "Contraband", was certified double-platinum for sales in excess of two million copies in the United States.

Confirmed VELVET REVOLVER tour dates:

Jul. 21 - Las Vegas, NV - Hard Rock Hotel
Jul. 22 - Costa Mesa, CA - The Pacific Amphitheatre
Jul. 29 - Kelseyville, CA - Konocti Harbor Resort & Spa
Jul. 30 - Paso Robles, CA - Paso Robles Events Center Exclusive

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Tie for "Mullet of The Month"

CamaroMullet: The CamaroMullet used to have full reign over the mullet brethren, but that was back in the 70's and 80's. This species has fallen from grace since, but can still be seen enjoying NASCAR events and shopping at Kragen, or up in the attic cooking up crank. Distinguishing features include: a molester mustache (peach fuzzy), tight-fitting acid wash jeans, and an ever-present key ring hanging from the belt loop.

Feel the mulletude emanating through your computer screen from this rare pic.

It is not recommended you confront the CamaroMullet, for they are very aggressive and cannot be hurt (this might be due to the frequent use of methamphetamines, angel dust, etc.).

Mulletude: 10
Aggressiveness: 10
Hobbies: primering cars, bar fights, picking scabs, losing teeth.
Sightings: Kragen, Grand Auto, working on a Camaro on their front lawn.
Favorite Band: AC/DC

Anthtrax: oakley razorblades, light, tight bluejeans, fear-imposing stance, molester mustache, green carpeting.

much like the sprayable disease, as well as the metal band, there is little one can do once infected 'cept for to submit and watch their bowels turn to paste.

Mulletude: 10

Aggressiveness: 10

Hobbies: beer, bashing, taking it like a man.

Sightings: fresno, bakersfield.

Favorite Band: Public Enemy [Via]

The Revolver Report Bottom Line: Don't miss out of the mullet comeback of '06. There are hours of mullet enjoyment and uncontrollable laughter in the classification section."

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Jackson Pollock, A Real Artist

Born in 1912 in Cody, Wyoming, Paul Jackson Pollock is accredited with developing the original style of abstract expressionism contributed to American artists. He worked with house paint, large brushes, and canvas big enough to cover an entire wall.

His movement emphasized the free and spontaneous flow of the brush in a dynamic composition producing intricate webs of paint with rhythmic repetition that are distinctly Pollock. Studying under Thomas Benton at the arts Students League, he also traveled widely throughout the United States and was greatly influenced by the murals of Jose Clemete Orozco and David Alfaro Siqueros. During the early 1940’s Pollack’s works shows the influence of Picasso including, Natural, Insane, Surrealist Art.

Peggy Guggenheim in the Art of This Century gallery in New York, 1943, held Pollock’s first solo. In Paris, 1950, he was the solo artist to open the Studio Paul Facchett.

His work was widely known and exhibited in the United States and aboard. Killed in an automobile accident on August 11, 1956, his career had a lasting impact on the art worls and the meaning of art and freedom of expression as it pertains to art.

After his constant struggle with alcoholism his whole life, his career ended abruptly after an alcohol-related, car crash in 1956 at the age of 44. Another passenger, Edith Metzger, died, and the other passenger in the Oldsmobile convertible, his girlfriend Ruth Kligman, miraculously survived. Sadly, after his death, Pollock's gallery sold off all the works that were left in his studio including many works that he had not intended to release.

A Revolver Report Exclusive

Friday, June 16, 2006

Sick guitarist!

Nefarious Sunglasses

"You may have seen Nefarious shades on such rock stars such as Nelly, Snoop Dogg and Usher.

The founder, Jason Hoehn, has created a stylish, vintage rock star inspired design which uses high grade diamonds, emeralds and rubies.

Nefarious clients can create their own custom jewelry which includes rings, necklaces and bracelets. These diamond frames go for $30,000.

Via Luxist

Ask A Ninja: Question 10 "Ninja Metal"

Wednesday, June 07, 2006


"In a modern world that is littered with strap-on dildos, Sex and the City reruns on four channels at any given time, male purses and all sorts of other quasi-gay European garbage, finger-banging has become an increasingly important act as males seek to reassert themselves sexually.

If you recall, somewhere in your sordid sexual past you probably courted a young seductress who insisted on “saving” herself for some special creep who was much older, had more facial hair and was much more abusive than you were at the time.

Naturally, since you knew that your forlorn member was never going to penetrate that invisible glass casing that seemed to surround her nubile snack-piece, you were left with no choice but to “finger-bang” your frustrations away or simulate traditional penile penetration with your fingers. Today, more and more people are finding that the same finger-banging done out of dire necessity in days of youth is also effective now as another tool in the sexual repertoire.

It should be clearly noted that “finger-banging’” is something quite different than “fingering,” which is something married square-dancers and Christian home-school teachers practice — this is full on banging with all the velocity and burning sexual frustration of a starving jackal in heat. When finger-banging, it is important to treat the act every bit as seriously as normal penis in vagina (PIV) intercourse. So just as in PIV intercourse, it is often advantageous to change positions intermittently when finger-banging, even altering your speed and strength of penetration.

One particularly effective move is to place your good lady in the doggie position to begin the finger-banging. While at first she may appear to be a lost and confused, she will soon understand the method to your madness (this method proves especially effective when a large ass is present to provide proper padding as you bang away at your partners love nest, quickly establishing your male prowess in the bedroom).

As an added bonus, the finger-bang is an especially effective tool to stall for time when a night of whiskey has turned your once trusty Longfellow into a belligerent Bukowski. For a guaranteed return visit, try the finger-bang on the first date and you’ll solidify your reputation as a creep that is worth a drunken phone-call for casual unprotected sex. Via

The Revolver Report Bottom Line: Yeah Dude...Finger BanGGGG!

U2 iPod is Reincarnated

Does this black and red iPod look familiar? It should. It's the second coming of the U2 iPod.

The original iPod U2 Special Edition was announced on October 24, 2004 and was the first black iPod Apple ever produced. Apple discontinued it about a year later on October 12, 2005 and rabid U2 fans have been without a Rattle & Hum to satisfy their portable music needs ever since.

Operating under some Mysterious Ways, on 06.06.06, (the day of the devil???) Apple announced a reincarnation of iPod U2 Special Edition. The encore version is actually $20 cheaper than the original but has a bigger hard drive, color screen and is video ready.

Like the original U2 iPod, the new version comes with the autographs of each band member engraved on the back (black metal this time, not aluminum) and a coupon for U2 content from the iTunes Store. The exclusive content offering includes 30-minutes of music videos and band interviews.

Let's compare the original iPod U2 Special Edition with the new reincarnated version.

- original: $349
- encore: $329

Color of metal backing
- original
- encore: black

iTunes Music Store Coupon
- original: $50 off the price of a digital U2 box set called The Complete U2
- encore: free 30-minutes of music videos and band interviews

Here are some technical details for the new iPod U2 Special Edition:
  • Holds up to 7,500 songs and album art
  • Holds up to 25,000 photos
  • Holds up to 75 hours of video
  • Accessory-compatible Dock connector
  • 2.5-inch (diagonal) color LCD with LED backlight
  • Comes with earbud headphones and USB cable
  • Autographs of all U2 members on the back
  • Bright 2.5-inch display with LED backlight
  • Up to 14 hours of battery life; up to 3 hours of slideshows with music; up to 2 hours of video playback
  • Works with Mac OS X or Windows 2000/XP
  • More info...

If you are a U2 fan who still hasn't found what you are looking for in a mp3 player, perhaps you should consider getting this newest member in the iPod family.

The iPod U2 Special Edition is available from and

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Solio Solar iPod Charger

Need to take your iPod places without a power source? Maybe you need a Solio iPod Charger. This fan-blade solar charger allows your iPod to soak up sun rays when placed in direct sunlight (either outside or affixed to a window).

The Solio also has a high capacity internal battery that stores energy and then releases it when the unit is plugged into your iPod. A fully charged Solio delivers enough energy to extend iPod playtimes by up to 9 hours. And it doesn't take hours of charge time just to get enough juice to play one song. An hour in the sun can give your iPod up to a few hours of play time.

You can even plug the Solio into a regular wall socket to charge its battery for instant power anywhere. Not a bad idea since the Solio can store energy for more than a year.

The Solio may be perfect on your next camping trip, but you may want to avoid pulling it while walking down Madison Avenue... unless you want people to mistake you for Ugly George.

The Solio is available from